A little ode to the Alligator Pear, or as you normal people refer to it, “the avocado.”

Yer ugly and fat
But aside from that,
Move California to roll
Then fill a Guacamole bowl.

Yeah, well - I’m no poet. In any case, there are a bajillion (that’s a rounded out number) of strange knives and tools to use on this mushy wee lump. These are two of my most esteemed choices. Continue Reading ->

This is my new favorite summer salad. It is simple to make and makes a great presentation for entertaining. The unlikely combination of feta and watermelon are fantastic. You can also substitute mint for the sweet basil and turn it into more of a “dessert” salad. Continue Reading ->

Rumors suggest that there are over forty ingredients in the 200-year-old tincture created by Surgeon General Dr. J Siegert. He spent over four-years perfecting the recipe in order to encourage the increased appetite and health of his soldiers – primarily the British Navy. But of his forty ingredients, only two have been confirmed as of today. It is perhaps one of the greatest kept secrets in the modern world. Seriously. The ingredients identified are no less mysterious, sugar and Gentian. The latter known as a common poison antidote during the Middle Ages. The former (I hope I got that right, Continue Reading ->

Ah there are things that we have gained by ill means – usually the best stuff. And when the Spanish conquistadors invaded Mexico and set about their pointy hatted missionary slaughters – they got some good stuff. Really good stuff. Chocolate. And it’s finest partner in crime, Vanilla. The word itself stems from the name “little pod” and its goodness is global, it’s history touching on a number of social woes and attempts to normalize. This is the origin of that bottle of “infused” alcohol known as extract that we’re used to seeing. Forget it. Go to the source and use the real thing if you can. It’s pretty darn awesome.

A native Mexican, the vanilla vine is actually an orchid. Today there are over 150 varieties of Vanilla Orchids, with varying strengths and flavors. But they all have one thing in common – they’re labor intensive little buggers to harvest. The strange little flowers are hermaphrodites, but private ones – with an organic curtain separating their naughty bits. In their native Mexico Continue Reading ->

Some people don’t wake up well. Me, I’m not exactly the morning person I was in my youth. To be honest, it’s a habit. One that I must on some level really NOT want. Because I can barely drag my sorry butt out in time for the pretense of a shower let alone a nice jog or breakfast lately. But I digress, as always. For me, coffee making is an art. A lost art. I make a lousy cup of coffee. You can tell me it’s just a matter of measuring and such, but it’s a lie. I am tainted. It is impossible. Continue Reading ->