Buzz Strong’s Caffeinated Cookies

Some people don’t wake up well. Me, I’m not exactly the morning person I was in my youth. To be honest, it’s a habit. One that I must on some level really NOT want. Because I can barely drag my sorry butt out in time for the pretense of a shower let alone a nice jog or breakfast lately. But I digress, as always. For me, coffee making is an art. A lost art. I make a lousy cup of coffee. You can tell me it’s just a matter of measuring and such, but it’s a lie. I am tainted. It is impossible. So I don’t get coffee until I’m out the door. It’s entirely possible that it’s the only incentive that works, which is actually a bonus if you’re my boss. But then there are days like today. When I put a muffin in the toaster, wander around searching for a shoe and leave the house without breakfast. Right now, there’s a toasted, butterless cranny British piece of cardboard-like bread standing alone in my kitchen. And I long for it. But I got my coffee. And now this – a cookie/coffee – comes to my attention. That’s right, a cookie with chocolate and caffeine. I’m drooling. It’s not pretty. But my head is hanging down from fatigue so nobody can really tell, which is nice.

Let’s start at the beginning. It’s a cookie. That’s good. That’s really good. And nobody’s trying to lie to me and say it’s full of fiber and oatmeal or carob and sawdust and blah-blah-blah in order to tell me it’s okay to have it for breakfast despite 2000 calories an ounce. I’m tired of that lie. I can have a cookie anytime I want without the long hoo-ha, thank you. But this is no ordinary cookie. This is preservative-free, trans-fat free and spiked! And we all know, anything spiked is good.

Here’s the basics – it’s got chocolate in it. Swiss chocolate – dark and white. By the way, white chocolate is not chocolate – but I’ll let it go for now. Blend in Tahitian vanilla and wait for it… Brazilian coffee, and you start to see what’s so exciting.

I used to complain about coffee in my chocolate. I was wrong. I can admit it… I’m growing up! A little coffee in your brownies really brings out the flavor. Berries, now – there’s no excuse. I can’t help it. Just stop messing with my chocolate, heathens. In any case, coffee and chocolate are good, good friends. According to the package, it only takes four of these Buzz cookies, a sacrifice I’m sure worth the effort, to get the caffeine equivalent of a full cup of coffee. How delightfully sneaky. Suddenly I’m seeing me giving them to my friend’s six-year-old and watching the magic happen.

But if you’re anything like me, you’ll have to have coffee with them, won’t you? So where does that leave you? Shaking on the ceiling or vibrating to the music? Neither one helps me out much now. My toast is at home and despite Fedex if I order them right now, there’s no way I’m getting one before tomorrow. They look so nice. And innocently tasty. When are they going to invent a computer that can Star Trek transport goods right to my desk???? Probably not today. But when? When? When? Now I not only don’t have my English muffin, but I don’t have a caffeinated cookie. My life sucks. [ Buzz Strong's Caffeinated Cookies ]